Lately, I’ve been grappling with the complexities of adult friendship. Since I moved away from Jakarta and settled in this new city over two and a half years ago, I’ve found myself in unfamiliar emotional territory.
Back then, forming a close-knit circle of friends always came naturally. But here, now? While I’ve met wonderful people (especially in my Zumba class, where, funnily enough, those people that I am close with are also from Jakarta) our connection remains confined to the studio. Despite making plans to hang out beyond our workout sessions, life keeps getting in the way.
This got me thinking: Have I lost my ability to make meaningful friendships? Am I no longer a good friend? Or, even worse, do I simply not belong here?
Just as these thoughts began to spiral, I stumbled upon a tweet from Handoko Tjung, the only creative content creator I follow in X. That day, he shared his perspective on adult friendship and how it naturally evolves as we age in a very fun way as he always does. And as if the universe was speaking directly to me, I came across a clip from Jay Shetty’s podcast featuring Mel Robbins. In it, she beautifully explained why friendships undergo significant shifts as we grow older.
