The other day, I found myself trapped in frustration over something I couldn’t fix on my own. My electricity had gone out, but it was only in my place. And to make matters worse, I had no idea who to call for help. Back in Jakarta, solving problems like this was as easy as grabbing my phone, searching for a technician, making a quick call, and… boom! help was on the way. Sure, it cost money, but as long as everything functioned again, it was worth it. Here, however, I was left powerless; literally and emotionally.
Feeling helpless, I flopped onto my bed, trying to manage my emotions. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and told myself, “I am experiencing anger.” I repeated the phrase like a mantra, over and over. And then, something unexpected happened. I realized how different I had become.
To be honest, it was my first time consciously acknowledging my anger in such a way. I had never verbalized it before. Curious, I started reflecting on how I usually responded to anger. I recalled how, in the past, I would feel the emotion rise from my chest to my throat, but instead of expressing it, I would suppress it. That tension would then travel to my head, sometimes triggering a migraine. Other times, I would get lost in overthinking, replaying frustrating scenarios in my mind which can last for days. And when avoidance seemed easier, I would scroll mindlessly on my phone or bury myself in games, just to escape dealing with the feeling. Sound familiar?
